Over the last year as an OT, I have seen a lot of parents over-adapting situations to accommodate their children and keep them happy but in doing so, they are creating a child that will never learn anything if he/she isn't allowed to fail, fall, get hurt, etc.
As the quote says, 'failure is a part of life,' and a vital one at that. The reason this has come to my attention is because I myself am guilty of over-accommodating at my clinic. If a parent or child complains of something such as, "These prizes stink. When are you going to get new ones," I would find myself running out that night to get 'better' prizes to accommodate the complaint. I also found myself 'hiding' things from kids that I knew they wanted but couldn't have when I really should have said, "No, you can't have that so chose something else."
So, I had a come to Jesus with myself and I am not going to do this anymore because I am adding to the problem I speak of today. Now, this isn't to say that I will put your child in harms way such as having peanuts in the clinic if I know your child is allergic or any other danger but, I will tell them to get over it if the prizes aren't good because that's just life and you'll have to wait . . . oh no, not wait.
Kids need to be told no, they need to fall and get hurt, they need to have their heart broken once, they need to get their feelings hurt, etc., etc. I know this may make me sound horrible but the only way they will know what it feels like is if it happens to them and then the success will be what they learn from it. The world cannot possibly accommodate every human being on the planet, that would be called heaven and we don't have that here on Earth.
It would be if a brain surgeon tried to explain brain surgery to you . . . you'd nod your head as a courtesy but inside you would be thinking, "What in the heck is he talking about?" The only way you would know what it 'feels' like would be to do it. Only then would it make sense to you on a cellular level and the experience would cause you to learn. Make sense?
A broken heart will make you stronger.
A fall will give you a bloody knee but I'll bet you won't do that dumb wheelie on your bike the same way you did this time because it made you scrap your knee.
If the prize box doesn't have the prize you want, then you have to learn patience for when it is refilled.
If another kid hurts your feelings, you will feel it yes and it will stink, but if you have learned anything from this then you wouldn't do that to someone else because you remember how it felt.
If they don't make a good grade on their test, well, they need to study harder.
I could go on and on but my point is failure is absolutely necessary for everyone even kids with special needs. If you want these kids to try and be an active part of society, then they have to fail. Now, I'm not talking about taking their wheelchair away or any other cruel action . . . use your common sense here . . . you know what I mean . . . within reason as a teaching tool.
I have 5 kids of my own and I've seen all of the various failings they have had happen to them, some done to themselves, and some done to them. It stinks I know and it breaks my heart but I know that this is the way of life and the value of the failure comes when they've learned something to tuck into their little coconuts sitting on top of their shoulders.
Hang in their y'all, you are doing a good job, just let them fail some.
As the quote says, 'failure is a part of life,' and a vital one at that. The reason this has come to my attention is because I myself am guilty of over-accommodating at my clinic. If a parent or child complains of something such as, "These prizes stink. When are you going to get new ones," I would find myself running out that night to get 'better' prizes to accommodate the complaint. I also found myself 'hiding' things from kids that I knew they wanted but couldn't have when I really should have said, "No, you can't have that so chose something else."
So, I had a come to Jesus with myself and I am not going to do this anymore because I am adding to the problem I speak of today. Now, this isn't to say that I will put your child in harms way such as having peanuts in the clinic if I know your child is allergic or any other danger but, I will tell them to get over it if the prizes aren't good because that's just life and you'll have to wait . . . oh no, not wait.
Kids need to be told no, they need to fall and get hurt, they need to have their heart broken once, they need to get their feelings hurt, etc., etc. I know this may make me sound horrible but the only way they will know what it feels like is if it happens to them and then the success will be what they learn from it. The world cannot possibly accommodate every human being on the planet, that would be called heaven and we don't have that here on Earth.
It would be if a brain surgeon tried to explain brain surgery to you . . . you'd nod your head as a courtesy but inside you would be thinking, "What in the heck is he talking about?" The only way you would know what it 'feels' like would be to do it. Only then would it make sense to you on a cellular level and the experience would cause you to learn. Make sense?
A broken heart will make you stronger.
A fall will give you a bloody knee but I'll bet you won't do that dumb wheelie on your bike the same way you did this time because it made you scrap your knee.
If the prize box doesn't have the prize you want, then you have to learn patience for when it is refilled.
If another kid hurts your feelings, you will feel it yes and it will stink, but if you have learned anything from this then you wouldn't do that to someone else because you remember how it felt.
If they don't make a good grade on their test, well, they need to study harder.
I could go on and on but my point is failure is absolutely necessary for everyone even kids with special needs. If you want these kids to try and be an active part of society, then they have to fail. Now, I'm not talking about taking their wheelchair away or any other cruel action . . . use your common sense here . . . you know what I mean . . . within reason as a teaching tool.
I have 5 kids of my own and I've seen all of the various failings they have had happen to them, some done to themselves, and some done to them. It stinks I know and it breaks my heart but I know that this is the way of life and the value of the failure comes when they've learned something to tuck into their little coconuts sitting on top of their shoulders.
Hang in their y'all, you are doing a good job, just let them fail some.
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