Over the last year as an OT, I have seen a lot of parents over-adapting situations to accommodate their children and keep them happy but in doing so, they are creating a child that will never learn anything if he/she isn't allowed to fail, fall, get hurt, etc. 

As the quote says, 'failure is a part of life,' and a vital one at that. The reason this has come to my attention is because I myself am guilty of over-accommodating at my clinic. If a parent or child complains of something such as, "These prizes stink. When are you going to get new ones," I would find myself running out that night to get 'better' prizes to accommodate the complaint. I also found myself 'hiding' things from kids that I knew they wanted but couldn't have when I really should have said, "No, you can't have that so chose something else." 

So, I had a come to Jesus with myself and I am not going to do this anymore because I am adding to the problem I speak of today. Now, this isn't to say that I will put your child in harms way such as having peanuts in the clinic if I know your child is allergic or any other danger but, I will tell them to get over it if the prizes aren't good because that's just life and you'll have to wait . . . oh no, not wait.

Kids need to be told no, they need to fall and get hurt, they need to have their heart broken once, they need to get their feelings hurt, etc., etc. I know this may make me sound horrible but the only way they will know what it feels like is if it happens to them and then the success will be what they learn from it. The world cannot possibly accommodate every human being on the planet, that would be called heaven and we don't have that here on Earth. 

It would be if a brain surgeon tried to explain brain surgery to you . . . you'd nod your head as a courtesy but inside you would be thinking, "What in the heck is he talking about?" The only way you would know what it 'feels' like would be to do it. Only then would it make sense to you on a cellular level and the experience would cause you to learn. Make sense?

A broken heart will make you stronger.
A fall will give you a bloody knee but I'll bet you won't do that dumb wheelie on your bike the same way you did this time because it made you scrap your knee.
If the prize box doesn't have the prize you want, then you have to learn patience for when it is refilled.
If another kid hurts your feelings, you will feel it yes and it will stink, but if you have learned anything from this then you wouldn't do that to someone else because you remember how it felt.
If they don't make a good grade on their test, well, they need to study harder.

I could go on and on but my point is failure is absolutely necessary for everyone even kids with special needs. If you want these kids to try and be an active part of society, then they have to fail. Now, I'm not talking about taking their wheelchair away or any other cruel action . . . use your common sense here . . . you know what I mean . . . within reason as a teaching tool.

I have 5 kids of my own and I've seen all of the various failings they have had happen to them, some done to themselves, and some done to them. It stinks I know and it breaks my heart but I know that this is the way of life and the value of the failure comes when they've learned something to tuck into their little coconuts sitting on top of their shoulders.

Hang in their y'all, you are doing a good job, just let them fail some.

WHERE TO APPLY ESSENTIAL OILS ON THE BODYMarch 13, 2013
by Plant Therapy
By: Retha Nesmith, Certified Aromatherapist
When it comes to Essential Oils the saying “I’d rather be safe than sorry” should be taken seriously. Essential oils are very potent and may cause *irritation to some skin types. To be SAFE rather than SORRY, always start by applying the essential oil to the least sensitive part of your body, the bottom of your feet!
Where to Apply Essential Oils On the Body

• Soles and top of feet
• Ankles
• Over Vital Organs
• Abdomen
• Upper Back
• Neck
• Behind  Ears
• Temples
• Crown of Head

OK! So really you can apply essential most any where on your body! 
How to Apply Essential Oils (this is where it can get a little tricky and confusing)
BEFORE you start, always remember to test a small area of the skin first. If irritation occurs, immediately add a carrier oil over the irritated spot to help dilute the essential oil.
If you only remember ONE thing from this post, I want it to be this: When it comes to using essential oils, LESS is better! Like I said before, essential oils are very potent and you don’t need very much to get the therapeutic benefits of using essential oils. You can always add more if needed.
–Diluting Essential Oils (not only will this save you money, but it is safer)

• For children and infants: 1 drop of essential oil per Tbsp of carrier oil is generally a safe rule to follow (.2% dilution)
• For Adults: 2 drop of essential oil per tsp of carrier oil (.75%)
• When using in a massage a 2%-5% dilution is a good start
• Check out THIS link for carrier oils

–Applying Essential Oils Neat (not diluted with a carrier oil)

• There are some essential oils that sometimes can be applied neat. I usually do not recommend this though
• If you choose to apply the essential oil neat, please get advice from an experienced Aromatherapist first!

Now that we have gone over all of the basics, this is how I like to use my essential oils when applying to my body (use the above recommendations for diluting):
-When I am not feeling my best, I like to apply diluted Germ-Fighter and Immune-Aid to the bottom of my feet and Respir-Aid to my chest. This helps support healthy immune function.
-When I have occasional stomach problems, I like to apply diluted Digest-Aid or Tummy-Aid (depending on the problem) to my stomach. I will massage in a circular motion.
-When I have head or neck tension, I like to apply diluted Tension Relief or Peppermint to my temples, forehead and/or back of neck.
-When I my muscles are occasionally sore from exercise or overuse, I will apply diluted Muscle-Aid or Pain-Aid to affected area.
-When I am in need of some an energy boost or in need of relaxing, I like to apply diluted Energy or Invigor-Aid (for energy) to my wrist and Relax or Tranquil (for relaxing) to my wrist. I will take a whiff when needed!
These are usually the essential oils that I will apply to my body (or families body) when needed! Remember there are so many more essential oils you can use and so many more uses for these essential oils! These are just the ones that I apply to my body most often!
For more essential oils and there uses, check out www.planttherapy.com. Just click on the essential oil you want to learn more about and read their suggested uses ideas!
*Essential Oils that MAY cause irritation (this is not a complete list)

• Camphor
• Cinnamon
• Fir Needle
• Oregano
• Pine
• Sage (Dalmation)
• Spruce
• Tagetes
• Thyme

**NOTE The advice shared is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any illness or disease nor is it intended to replace proper medical advice. When using essential oils we always recommend you consult with your doctor.

​

It has become blatantly clear to me here recently that I missed a boat as an OT I should have seen floating right in front of me all along . . .

I've been practicing for 24 years and 18 of them have been in pediatrics. In school, we are taught to set goals based on function such as dressing yourself, brushing your own teeth, better handwriting, etc. However, we weren't taught the importance of a centered, calm, and mindful person. That anxiety can hold a child back from meeting the very goals set for them.

Anxiety in children can cause many areas of difficulty such as their whole way of thinking. For example, the anxiety they feel appears to them as too great to overcome therefore creating more anxiety. 

As far as physical harm, anxiety in kids causes them to avoid situations that they feel will add to the anxiety therefore they miss out on situations of learning such as making a new friend, trying a new climbing toy on the playground, etc.

It also causes headaches, stomach aches, sleeping difficulties including trouble falling asleep, nightmares, and once asleep, trouble staying asleep. It can also cause diarrhea, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and tiredness.

Now, I have a couple of kids on my caseload at the moment that have what is called a retained reflex. This means reflexes that were supposed to have integrated before 7 months old or so but don't. When they are still hanging out at 6 or 7 years old, that's when you see a lot of trouble.

One of the most difficult retained reflexes to still have is what is called the Moro/Startle Reflex. This reflex is present at birth and should be integrated by the time the child is 4 months old or so. This reflex is an involuntary reaction to threat and is the earliest form of "fight" or "flight." If this reflex fails to integrate at 4 months old, a child will retain an exaggerated startle reaction which may result in continued hypersensitivity to light, sound, movement, or alteration of position or balance may elicit the reflex at any moment or unexpected moments so that the child is constantly on alert and in a heightened an uncomfortable state of hyper-awareness.

The other part of this is the release of adrenalin and cortisol-the stress hormones- being in such a state, which increase sensitivity and reactivity so that both the trigger and the response are built into the system. 

The Moro/Startle Reflex is one of the hardest ones to treat. 

Because of this reflex, I have decided to add yoga to my treatment treasure chest. Treating the whole child means not just helping them to learn to tie their shoe, feed themselves, have a stronger core, better sensory integration skills, or better handwriting . . . no . . . it means the emotional part too because it all matters, all of it, especially the anxiety, which can act just like the reigns on a stage coach. When you pull back on those reigns, the horses either slow down or stop. This is what happens to development if the whole child is not treated and thanks to a very special young man on my caseload, I have seen the light. 

​Thumbs up sweet fella!! :)